“Emotional unavailability, passive aggression, blocks to connecting and communal unity” by Nijeta Ankh

Peace family!

I posted a blog a few months ago “Can we leave the age of Disingenuous relationships?” which was very well received from readers.
Well this can be regarded as a part III, Or WW3 since we have to ATTACK WHAT AILS US….
The reality with this subject matter is it is all about honesty and culpability.
My take is holistic and I see myself as an artist, and HEALER IN the spiritual sense. I trust we actually have this sense and ability as original wombmen (Woman of melanin and virtue)to heal and to be the buffer between the matrix or larger society and what we can cultivate in our communities.
In this blog post, let’s talk about emotional availability.

First , lets define it as best we can.
“Emotional availability” can be defined as responsibility one has to another while engaged in a relationship of some type. Some of those traits and behaviors show up as caring attitudes, emotional sensitivity, communication, bonding, and growth.-(My definition/I couldn’t get a definition online :).

So let’s stop there and ask what kind of engagement we have had with one another within the black community, within our religious factions, within our political organizations, starting at home with our families?

The Hueman body is actually composed of five bodies as based on the Ancient Mayan/Olmecan science. They believe that the body is actually five (mental, emotional,spiritual,physical,astral)all intermingling based on their unique etheric properties. The basis for this overstanding is matter and vibration. Everything VIBRATES HOWEVER, everything does not vibrate at the same speed and frequency. Sound affects and manifest vibration. Sound can also raise vibration. This is what the power is behind a genuine “Grand Rising” and what chemical reaction takes place at the sound of “I Love You”…is it just sound however? Or the meaning IN THE WORDS? We recognise the meaning in “I love you” or “I am proud of you” as well as offerings of love and acceptance, action behind the words, as ways to heal multi-generational truma. Early black conscious organizations had slogans “Accept your own, and be yourself” “Black is beautiful” as repeated vibrational energy raising crys which woke up our parents! Even just with the sound of the right words.

However, we are crossing into a time of rugged individualism and emotional unavailability. Because of this, honesty, authenticity, and a sense of responsibility to one another is challenged and sometimes waning.
Black woman , social scientist, and author and Dr.Joy Degru Leary http://melaninvibez400.com/post-traumatic-slave-syndrome/ set a tone for an interesting conversation for us all to join in. We have some emotional issues and mental problems. Why aren’t we talking more about our collective experience within a paradigm of oppression, colonialism, and a systemic breakdown of our families? Are we carrying over multi-generational trauma into Age of Aquarius? Will we heal, can we, and are some of us going to try to fake it through?
I think so.
Going back to the Ancient Mayans and their belief in how our cosmic inner bodies work, all is seeking and achieving balance. this is proven and shown in how one solar sign or “astrological” is composed of four other signs, working in concert within that one being, that one person. In other words, balance is demanded. Still, this begins with defining the solar being AS A (MENTAL,EMOTIONAL,SPIRITUAL,PHYSICAL,ASTRAL)how are we not finding a fuller experience with one another?

Post trumatic stress disorder: Outbursts of anger, hypervigilance, a feeling of impending doom.

Does any of these traits sound familiar..when we think of the black community, and whats left of it?

If we are in fact traumatized, how does it show?

I live in a major city that is predominately hispanic and white in populace. The black community or “South side” has been dispersed through a successful gentrification campaign. Visitors of the black persuasion are often asking “where are the black folks at?”. But the saddest part about it, sisters pass each other on the street and ignore one another. Acknowledgement and smiles are rare. Sisters are downright rude to one another and even black men complain. It almost seems than black women are the most unfriendly in my city….even to other black women.

Is this part of a social program?

Are not black women the most abused, misused, misunderstood, exploited, and marginalized being..especially in my city? I think so.
So taking this into consideration, hurt people, hurt people…therefore, healing has to take place on higher and higher levels for a higher level of functioning to take place.
How can we build communities if we don’t like one another, let along love?
Is it that we just recently were recognized as viable hueman beings? Are we not divine?
Don’t get this mixed up with “good meaning gestures” kind acts, and feel good things that we collectively take part in, that don’t necessarily grow and heal community.
Are you still walking right past that sister on the corner visbly in need?
Are you still working against that brother you KNOW IS capable of being great, because you are threatened by his greatness? Are you still holding back from really loving?
I am a thinker. These are my thoughts.

I would love to hear yours….while working on a second part and conclusion to this .

Feel free to comment below or e-mail me at Goddessnijeta@mail.com



  1. I agree with many of the sentiments you expressed here. Well said.
    I’m just not sure upon a pathway to healing, but I will surely keep trying my best as a black woman, not to fall into any cycles of mediocrity. I will not repeat the same actions I have seen not working for others around me. Conditioning I see surrounding us….

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