“Surviving the Nation of Islam…my story , my research! ” by Nijeta Ankh (pt1)

Peace Family!

Sorry for the delay. I guess my “word isn’t bond” what a tragedy😏. However , today, no matter how high and lofty they sound, I simply don’t adhere to another’s ideas of how I should conduct myself. I do my best. I do better with deadlines. Timeframes, it’s a toss up. There are too many uncontrollable factors. Therefore, I am free of that concept.This is my slightly sarcastic way to cognitively manage indoctrination (thinking out loud). Yes, I still have to manage it as the cache has to be cleared often.

This is something I have learned as a survivor of a cult and social program , religious nationalistic order, the Nation of Islam as well as earlier childhood abuse at the hands of sociopathic stepfather and obscenely co-dependent biological mother, both lifetime members of the “Nation”.

Part of my story , my experiences and deepest details, I will share in depth, in part (2) of this blog post. However, it is the organzation itself which has motivated my ,at times ,obsessive scrutiny, and this particular writing. This is because The Nation was all that I knew of community and spiritual practice. What I learned was through what I took in with my senses for all 37 years that I recall (since my 7 years of age and my family rejoined the Nation of Islam under Farrakhan’s leadership). This isn’t a script from anyone or persons who “have it in” for N.O.I. This is what I as well as many truthseekers ascertain from these experinces and also in depth research, previously “unchartered territory” for me. And that is the inner workings of the organization and how such has affected followers and the self-actualization of so many others. Good news, is there is a better way for true freedom for black folks!

The 80’s

I grew up in South Phoenix circa early 80’s and attended Muhammad’s Mosque #32 in Phoenix on Buckeye rd and 11th ave. The culture was black, all over the city! The mosque was adjacent to the now gentrified Matthew Henson Projects. We attended meetings up to 4 times a week with long holdovers, sometimes going over 4 hours! Some were at believers homes. We were a community. Me and my siblings were home-schooled and only associated with other children of N.O.I. It was all I knew!

What I didn’t know was that I was being abused by my step-father. I didnt know that being beaten so badly in the face that it swole like a prize fighter was enough to call the police. And we didnt call police on Muslims!

But let me digress..the culture of #32 was vibrant! Jabril Muhammad (formerly Bernard Cushmeer) kept a faithful following of believers who located him during the fall of the Nation and began to devote themselves to all he needed. Tynetta Muhammad also was present and resided in Tempe,Az at one time. And the presence of the charismatic and (as far as we innerstood)prophetic figure of “Minister Farrakhan” made a lifelong impression on me. Phoenix held importance for the Nation due to Elijah Muhammad purchasing a home in “Park South”. Farrakhan repurchased the home in the eighties. He was our shining star when he visited our mosque and was in the audience at my first talent show. I was 8 years old. Because of this, and my family’s close ties with “The Minister” as we called him, he called me his “little singer” for many years.

Although my step-father has become a friend and asset to the Farrakhan family (a bizarre fact and something he strives hard for), This is not an expos’e into all of our family secrets. No, I don’t want to hurt innocent parties. However, THE OCCURANCES THAT LEAD TO ME BREAKING AWAY AND WHAT I LEARNED ABOUT THE N.O.I is what I want to shed light on.

Sometime in the 80’s and 90’s Farrakhan made my parents captains at Mosque #32 and this meant hell at home. The demands for a person in that position is close to that of a small military workforce. A captain is like the shift supervisor. But THATS NOT HOW THESE PEOPLE WITH POSITIONS took their roles as some felt EMPOWERED TO RULE OTHERS LIVES AND EXORT INORDINATE CONTROL.

The doctrine is the promise. It is the motivating factor. This particular doctrine is a mishmash of different beliefs and understanding. Mainly all three organized religions in one are reflected in the “teaching”. And that is not only the “teaching” of Elijah Muhammad but of Farrakhan and his ministers. The predicate is God appearing in a man and he was Fard Muhammad. Believe this and its easier to believe the rest. Study groups were on firday night and was an important part of membership duty (to attend). It was also a good way to know what “believers” were thinking. Focused study group leaders made sure no one deviated in speech or questioning at study groups. I started speaking in study sets as early as I can recall. But those were tense sessions.

I believe this is because Farrakhan did not want free thought on two issues. Elijah Muhammad’s extra-matrial affairs and Farrakhan’s apparently planned ascension. Even if only Jabril, Tynetta, and Farrakhan were the sole conspiracy, which I don’t think that they were. In my opinion, It was a pulling of wool over our eyes.

“Scholar Karl Evanzz a former prospective convert as detailed here estimated that the total number of children born from Elijah Muhammad’s adulterous affairs was between thirteen to twenty-one.”
As early as the mid-1950s, Elijah Muhammad began having sexual liaisons with his personal secretaries and other NOI women. For years, Muhammad’s chief lieutenants at Chicago’s Temple No. 2 were able to contain the rumors, sometimes through fear and intimidation. Scholar Karl Evanzz estimates that the total number of children born from Elijah Muhammad’s adulterous affairs was between thirteen to twenty-one.

As Evelyn X Williams later informed the press, “He told us that under the teaching of the Holy Koran, we were not committing adultery and that we were his wives.” By 1962, when Clara Muhammad became fully aware of her husband’s eight children born out of wedlock to different women, she painfully withdrew from an active role in the organization for several years. When media sources learned about Elijah Muhammad’s sexual affairs, the women were censored and described as “prostitutes” in Muhammad Speaks. In July 1964, after his break with the NOI, Malcolm X persuaded Evelyn X Williams and another woman sexually victimized by Elijah Muhammad to file paternity suits. Both women suffered extreme harassment, and were forced to move when explosions occurred next to their shared living quarters.” Source: The exploitation of women and Elijah Muhammad https://skeptics.stackexchange.com/questions/36502/did-elijah-muhammad-admit-having-extramarital-affairs-with-young-nation-of-islam

Ok. How do we go from there to the late Tynetta Muhammad (One of Elijah’s alleged wives )writing things like this?:

“What is the role of the Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan in this critical period of one world going out and a new world coming in? Will America repent of her gross evils or will it be like the Most Honorable Elijah Muhammad has written: Babylon could have been healed, but she was not. The role of the Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan today is as the Angel or Messenger sounding the Trumpet giving Divine Instructions and Guidance to a people who are in the hour of Doom and utter destruction as the many people and nations were destroyed in the past. The Time of this World is at Hand.

But parties among them differed, so woe to those who did wrong for the chastisement of a painful day! Wait they for aught but the Hour, that it should come on them all of a sudden, while they perceive not?” –Holy Qur’an, Surah 43, verses 65-66-Tynetta Muhammad / The Final Call http://www.finalcall.com/artman/publish/Columns_4/article_9212.shtml

She has spoke of him this way until her very last article. What had proven his annointing at any point to do all he was claimed to do?

I had accepted the teachings so young that I didn’t realise how off they were. What frame of reference could I have? I argued with anyone who would dare say something derogatory about him or the work. I was taken! Yet something was nagging: “Why no mention of a goddess?” ” Why is the Blackman god and not woman?””Why are they teaching us (sisters)the same thing every week?” (in the womans class). And “why not a bit of proof of the death plot story?” No one had ever challenged Tynetta Muhammad on what she says. No one was allowed to! It has only been since my time away that I have learned how she moves and that she really should not have been able to utter such words of praise for Farrakhan. It’s a conflict of interest. Tynetta Muhammmad was the alleged poly wife of Elijah Muhammad. However, without one document proving this, she appears to had only been a mistress. Still….why was she exaulted so quickly by Farrakhan?? Is it a scratching of eachothers backs?

In her book during this rebuilding period “Comer by Night” which is also the 86th verse of the Qur’an , it mentions a mysterious figure being killed and returning to life. Tynetta took this verse as the title of her book about Elijah Muhammad and who she felt he was “Comer by Night” is actually a play on the wording “Comer by day” of the Egyptian book of the dead. She parallels Elijah Muhammad with Osirus. I guess she was making herself Auset (the goddess who resurrects her dead husband/god) but there was never any proof that her perception was correct. Read here if unfamilar with the scrolls http://www.aaiil.org/text/hq/trans/ch86.shtml It absolutely powered a narrative that is the “foundation” for faith and belief in N.O.I under Farrakhan’s leadership!

Lance Shabazz in his book “Blood, Sweat, and Tears”https://skeptics.stackexchange.com/questions/36502/did-elijah-muhammad-admit-having-extramarital-affairs-with-young-nation-of-islam says that Tynetta has actually been a secret wife to Farrakhan. This can be true since there were two other secret wives who resided in Arizona and that was Wynetta Lonewolf and Sheri Muhammad. Imagine my confusion as we heard of additional wives. Yet, we had been so brow-beaten about never speaking ill on or questioning The “domestic life”of E.M. that we didn’t dare question his. At this time, I was a preteen so I couldnt ask anyone anything. That didn’t stop me from thinking.

And I kept thinking…

The 90’s

The hidden and top secret teachings are another layer to the “program” of the Nation. That is the ultra-negative view we are given of Malcolm x. and Khallid Muhammad. Once again, due to my brainwashing, I would argue down anyone saying something positive of the two. That is because we are not made to love but despise the brothers. That was then and pushed (once again) by Jabril Muhammad (the minister of our mosque #32 at that time) as well as Minister Farrakhan.

Minister Farrakhan is one of the most emotional hot button personalities of this society, the “litmus test” the point of contention in so many areas of social programming of black (melenated) people. This shows up mainly in media. But what one must innerstand is that THIS IS BY DESIGN! He continually complained that he didn’t get press. But he was featured on every prime news and talk channel available including Fox News. During this subversion of black consciousness, he also made calculated effort to embed himself into the consciousness of the believers. However, knowing his imperfection was such that most of his grandchildren who lived in Arizona are known drug addicts. His grandaughter Malia Farrkhan died Nov 4, 2015 of a drug interraction(at a local rehab). His son Joshua has a past that tarnished the reputation of the movement in Phoenix. Because of this, why wasn’t the Nation providing care for addicts? (These were pre-scientology concerns as I wouldn’t suggest receiving any help in any form from this organization).

As you can imagine, alot goes thru the mind of a believer. Alot of managing of the mental bodies. The only way through the anguish of not innerstanding what the hell is going on is to “pray to Allah” . Something I’ve chose not to do for some time.
The more I studied, the more inconsistant the inner workings appeared. As my personal life continued to tarry with “hard trials” N.O.I simply did not offer an even exchange for what it takes from you. The charity requirement and dues were daunting. All of this with plenty of physical labor and no “salvation” in sight. Farrakhan AND HIS FAMILY didn’t seem to be missing any meals. I was sending him plenty to #2poor charity.. And those donations superseded local charity. My “faith” was strong! All with no evidence he was worthy of such devotion.

As for the undying devotion, This, I was a witness of myself. It was the culture of #32 of the 80’s and 90’s and led up to the historic Million Man March. And this was also while profuse writers, ministers, and doctrine artchitects (Jabril Muhammad ,Tynetta Muhammad)kept our sights on him: Listen closely to the claims he makes as to the divinity of Farrakhan. https://youtu.be/iE4NHpSbd_4

Muslim girls in training bras

The women members are called M.G.T which actually means (and i’m not making this up) MUSLIM GIRLS IN TRAINING! Women are not ministers (up until Ava Muhammad’s appointment of 1998)as Tynetta Muhammad was the ONLY WOMAN ALLOWED to minister, write and sell her books through The Final Call records and tapes. Remember that she was one of the “rebuilders” (facts) who wrote every week in The Final Call(for over 35 years up until her recent passing) that our devotion should no doubt be with Farrakhan! This is while the average sister did not have a hope to minister. It was things such as this as well as the “domestic life” of Elijah Muhammad which caused me to start questioning the entire construct that I was taught to never question.

As I grew into womanhood, and found myself an absolute victim of so many different abuses , I had nervous breakdown after nervous breakdown. I found the people around me to be cold and indifferent. The vibration kept me down. Maybe that was because I was going to a mason lodge thinking it was a mosque! I also grew to innerstand the envy reflected on me and my family possibly because of our closeness with the Minister’s family. But the facade had faded for me some time ago.

Sometime in 2006 I finally filed a formal complaint with N.O.I against my step-father for abusing me since childhood. Since he was a captain at the time , it was significantly swept under the rug and I was put on time out of the mosque for causing disturbances (I cussed him out).

The officials DID NOT want to hear anything about what was ailing me. I learned to just stuff it a while and get back into my music. This was part of my natural healing, years later! For Farrakhan to now force Dianetics on his flock after his officials IGNORED HORRIBLE ABUSES BY MANY OF HIS MEMBERS (MAINLY HUSBANDS AND FATHERS)is DISINGENUOUS! THEY WOULD PUT OUT TEENAGERS FOR FORNICATING BUT NEVER WOULD ANYONE BE PUT ON BLAST FOR CHILD ABUSE AND/OR MOLESTATION. This was simply time to “pray to Allah”.

We were also taught that if we fell into disbelief of the “way of life” that is N.O.I, we would basically go insane. This is called the “chastisment” and was a old wives tale and accepted excuse for why so many believers lost their minds after the passing of Elijah Muhammad. To me, IT FURTHER PROVES that this “religion” is a manipulation of the spirit and not Salvation.

Tynetta, Jabril, and Farrakhan SEALED into our hearts and minds, ideas that are simply a matter of creating parallels. These paralells create strongholds that block critical thought of Elijah Muhammad (his “domestic life”) and accepting Farrakhan to take his place. The greatest parallel however ISN’T EVEN ISLAMIC but is found in Biblical texts. That is the story of Moses and the Isrealites.

15 “The Lord your God will raise up for you a prophet like me from among you, from your brothers—it is to him you shall listen— 16 just as you desired of the Lord your God at Horeb on the day of the assembly, when you said, ‘Let me not hear again the voice of the Lord my God or see this great fire any more, lest I die.’ 17 And the Lord said to me, ‘They are right in what they have spoken. 18 I will raise up for them a prophet like you from among their brothers. And I will put my words in his mouth, and he shall speak to them all that I command him. 19 And whoever will not listen to my words that he shall speak in my name, I myself will require it of him.”-Deuteronomy 18:15

This goes to all of the “jew” talk in nearly every lecture! It has increased a thousand fold since losing Khallid from the ministry for similar talk. The critical piece of info comimg to light is that the Nation of Islam is an alleged offshoot of the Moorish Science Temple under Noble Dru Ali, and is actually is a freemasonry sect. This makes sense , since the F.O.I do not carry the mark of the beard or long locks of the Hebrews. The entire construct is more like a freemasonry lodge and not a coptic church. The “Kemetic” headdress of the sisters and the overall “protocol” enviroment of religious and sanctimonious beauracrisy is patriarchal and powerfully sustained by the moving parts (people) put in place. http://antinewworldorder.blogspot.com/2007/02/freemasonry.html?m=1

On the official Moorish Science site, it claims that Fard Muhammad claimed to be Noble Dru Ali incarnate. I think that substatiates some deep involvement as well as photos circulating in which a fair-skinned man with a bow tie sits front row.

Intolerance for self-actualization

Before I go there. I want to reinterate, I am from the “Power at Last FOREVER!” generation and timeframe. I sat and listened to Farrakhan for hours every single week! I wanted freedom and economic livlihood for us all! My daydreams were on liberation!I saw Public Enemy in concert at Saviours Day in 1988, I was in a heaven! I actually saw a way to help my nation. I was already in love with hip-hop, had activated that gene so strong, I recorded my own album “Ghettos Child” which featured east coast rap legend, Kool G Rap! This set trends on the west coast. I always gave “Allah” the credit in everything I did. No matter how worldly, I was a muslim at heart. However, this (along with the earlier abuse I suffered) and my experience as a enlightened being, found bushel baskets and snares waiting to cover me.

Once I lost my recording contract and was blackballed for not making “party music” I found myself in a rut of family distrust and single motherhood. I tried many times to ask Minister Farrakhan for help but he simply ignored me after my deal dropped ( but he takes photo ops with every rapper he can find…if they have sold at a platinum level) this is strange to me. Because we never saw cultivation for believers via the organization. I recall one morning as he was getting ready for a flight,I asked if he could connect me with Barry Hankerson. A small child of one of the visitors was running around and he turned his attention to him, and never answered me. Another time, I got someone to play a track at a bbq at his home. He ignored it.He was trying to act like he didnt hear it. Hey, maybe it sucked but it was a strange way for a leader/former artist to act towards a young person they have known since they were a child. Way to give energy to someones dream! Well before you say I was just taking things personal, he didnt help with much of anyone’s dreams in Phoenix. As poor as I became (working poor) I noticed we had no support system for believers. When I was 24, me and husband at that time went to the mosque (which was a masonic lodge they were renting out on 24th st)for help with an emergency housing problem, we were going to be on the streets. The captain at the time (Elijah Muhammmads’son via June Muhammad) told me “We arent a social service agency” I was like “Wow!” and that was my first brush with what I see as the N.O.I lack of care for the community.

New Mellenial Madness

Sometime in late last year, Minister Farrakhan himself repeated the same sentiment at a believers only meeting! From the looks of things, he doesnt want to ever be a social service agency..

To this date, in my city, there is currently: No N.O.I school system, no daycares, no housing system (low income/shelter) , no rehab system). There may be some “groups” popping up to offer outreach but no institutions. And there was also nowhere for me to talk to someone about the earlier abuse I suffered in my childhood at the hands of a N.O.I captain unless I agree to Dianetics (a proven form of hypnosis) This made me angry. But not immediately. It took time to develope. Social media fed this fire!

The murder of Michael Brown was a pivotal moment for me as it showed that I couldnt agree with the way N.O.I under Farrkhan uses the resources of the people. And that is THE PEOPLE! I sat and watched as those who looked like me were upset and sweating in a state of unrest. I watched all night on as tanks and teargas and pickets signs filled the timeline. What I didnt see was M.G.T Vanguard or F.O.I! This was appalling!! No bow ties, no headpieces ready and geared up with firy SPIRITS to protect the protesters!! This made me livid and I took to my social media to complain and share the videos that I saw. N.O.I didn’t make a visual appearence that was notable until weeks later. The mother finds out the grand jury decision without any N.O.I members protecting her or her family. This didnt fit what I have been taught! Maybe I haven’t been hearing right.

This was the beginning of a ongoing study for me. Come back tomorrow for more on my abuse allegations, the gridlock to actualizing and the Justice or Else march debacle.pt.2!

Peace And Light!


Screenshot_2019-01-12-11-29-40.png405091_563012750380966_175100310_n (1) Pictured:Me(far left) step-father, mother, siblings, and friends of the family.1982,Phx, Az


  1. Very interesting & powerful testimony. I rose to Secretary in Mosque #73 (Sacramento, CA, early 90’s) while I was pursuing my engineering BSEE. I saw abuse of the Brothers when it came to paying their ‘charities’, even to the point of holding their families ‘hostage’ as they had to go out on the street to sell ‘old’ newspapers to raise their money, on Sundays. I learned a lot, coming from a Southern Baptist background & having lived in Morocco for 2 years as a child. Now, let’s compare notes, why do YOU think Tony Muhammad was able to influence Farrakhan into Dianetics (Scientology, as the story goes)?…peace

    1. Peace and Light beloved! That is the hardest post and I trust that you saw much! I wish we could speak in a collective voice.
      To answer your question. It’s conjecture and I have heard conflicting stories. Ultimately, I believe it is his location. The COS has a huge base there (gold base) . Also…the heresay is that he experienced a mental breakdown because of a police beating (I don’t know if it happened or not) that caused him to be treated to Scientology. Tony Muhammad is quintessential “HOLLYWOOD” and actually said from the pulpit that he has to have spinning wheels (the thing at the time) to attract PEOPLE to the mosque. He may have also been diving thru hoops to make the merger happen. He has been enriched with accolades for sure, ever since.
      Thanks again for reading and sharing your input. Stick around more to come. ((☥))

      1. YOU are a very interesting person to converse with…being much closer to the Crown (center) than I…when YOU have time I’d like to share my theory concerning why the NOI has ‘integrated’ with Scientology…peace

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